My guess is that all of you, at some point each day, yearn for what was once your “normal” life. It is difficult to come to terms with the fact that with PD, our lives will never return to what we once considered normal, everyday living. A time when we went unhampered through our days by tremors, pain or other symptoms of PD. Now, with the fluctuations of PD symptoms, we never know what each day is going to look like.
One day, after stating that I just want to be normal, my therapist pointed out that my new “normal” is what is happening today, not what I did in the past. I came to realize that what was normal 10 years ago for me, is no longer my “normal” and it probably wouldn’t be anyway because I am 10 years older. Our lives change over the years, both physically and mentally. It is part of the aging process. But those of us who are Baby Boomers don’t want to let go of what we could do 10, 20 or even 30 years ago. In our minds, we still think we can do what a 30 year old can do.
Until I started taking Sinimet a year ago, I was afraid that life would never return to any kind of normal. My tremors are on the right side and I am right handed, so it was difficult to eat with a fork or spoon, carry a glass full of water or even brush my teeth with my right hand. Fortunately for me, Sinimet turned out to be the magic pill. The tremors in my hand disappeared almost immediately. I can now manage most things that I could do before. Except for my handwriting. It is still very difficult to write legibly. There are always the days after a bad night of sleep where I just want to crawl back into bed and stay there all day. Other days I am full of energy.
So what is your “normal” today? Mine is taking at least 18 pills a day so that I can function, exercising even when I don’t feel up to it and sometimes, just taking a “pity-party” day and doing absolutely nothing. Most days, fortunately, my energy level is close to what it used to be and my days are filled with activity. Every day is different and that is “normal” for me now.