The New Mattress

We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life 
Is rounded with a sleep.
The Tempest (4.1.168-170)   William Shakespeare

A couple of months ago, a Parkie friend told me about her new Zero-Gravity bed and how wonderful it is.  Mr. Twitchy and I were ready to get a new mattress, so we decided to check out this amazing mattress that she bought.

Armed with internet research, we went to the mattress store.  Upon entering, we saw no one else in the showroom, not even the salesperson.  “Hello” we said.  “Helloooooo”.  Finally a man came out of the back room and greeted us.  “Hi, I’m Bob.  How can I help you”.  He handed us his business card, which oddly, did not have the name of the store on it, but rather a real-estate company.  Very strange.

So we checked out the different mattresses, laying on them, playing with the controls to achieve Zero-Gravity*, a concept which we are still not sure of, and finally settled on a memory foam mattress that was really comfy.  Or rather mattresses.  Since the new beds are almost all adjustable, the king size mattresses are available in what is called a split-king, so that each side can be raised and lowered separately.  You can raise the head of the bed and then the foot of the bed so that you sink into a spot where there is no pressure on your back, achieving Zero-Gravity.   Other bells and whistles included 3 different types of massage and 4 different memory buttons you can set.  This was going to be fun.  Kind of a Disneyland ride for the bedroom.

“The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.” – Wilson Mizener

Once the mattresses arrived, we discovered that no one makes sheets for the split-king bed except the company that makes the mattress.  An extra long twin is supposed to fit, but the dimensions are slightly off, so we had to order new sheet sets (you can’t buy just the fitted sheets).   With our expensive new sheets in place, we were ready to go.download.jpg

So we started playing with the mattresses.  Raise the head.  Great for reading.  Raise the legs, too, and you are supposed to be at zero gravity.  Ooooh, how comfy.  Lights out, and I slid down the bed.  I am obviously too short for this bed.   And did I say that I am a side sleeper?  Bob assured us that it worked well for side sleepers as well as those who slept on their backs.  So I turned on my side, but my body could not conform to that “V” shape while on my side.  I pulled up my knees and slid down the mattress again.

So for several weeks I played with the new mattress, trying different settings to find the right one for me.  And then, last night, I decided to keep the mattress flat.  I fell asleep reading and woke up at 5:30!  6+ hours of un-interrupted sleep!!  Woohoo!  I can’t remember the last time I slept that long.  Maybe this is going to work after all.

 

*The Zero Gravity Position is a term and position developed by NASA as a position for astronauts to help relieve stress on the body while taking off into space.  So you really are not going to sleep like astronauts do in space but in the position they are seated during take off.    Zero gravity beds evenly distribute stress across the body which can help reduce pain and pressure points and result in a better nights rest.”  Eric Gissal, Lake County Bed Barn

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